The spectre of Rory’s cancer continues to re-appear at random, triggered by connections with the past; the scrunching of dry autumn leaves under my feet, Rory staying away on school camp, and t...

One of the dilemma’s of sharing Rory’s journey is how much to share. There is a fine line between respecting Rory’s privacy and telling how it is so people can understand what life for him...

The dynamic in our house has been different recently due to the absence of Rory. He was lucky enough to be chosen to attend Camp Quality 2012 in Hastings (www.campqualitynz.org.nz ). He was gone...

Happy New Year! May 2012 be filled with adventure, and the good outweigh the bad for all of us. Just before Christmas Rory, Colt and I flew to Auckland so Rory could have a repeat MRI to check ...

We are home. We had the most fantastic time in Florida. It was amazing. I am playing catch up but I am looking forward to sharing our stories and photos. Thank you everyone for your gift to Rory...

Twas the week before Disneyworld when all through the house the excitement was building .... it was impossible to douse. There are only a handful of sleeps before we depart for America. I have tie...

We have had the most fantastic support for Rory’s trip to Disneyworld. Following the grant from the Mellowpuff Trust, and the donations generated by the article in the Midweek newspaper, money fo...

The last month has been an exciting time for us, and there have been occasions to celebrate with those we love and care for.  Congratulations to our good friends Cindy, Nev and Havana on the birth...

We slipped into, and out of, Auckland last week for Rory’s latest MRI scan.  A diagnosis with cancer is like being in a game of Russian roulette.  Even though with each clear scan Rory’s chan...

Happy Birthday Dianne, cousin Corbyn who turned 7, and Colt who is six months old today (a ½ birthday)!    I emailed Dr Stephen this week to organise Rory’s next MRI in mid-July at Starship....

Great Grannie Vujcich (Grannie’s mum) passed away last week so we made the long journey north to say goodbye, and to support Grannie during this sad time.  Great Grannie was a sprightly 84 years...

My mum calls Colt a time-waster, and she is right.  We all spend a lot of time caring for him, playing with him, and keeping him happy.  We enjoy doing it (most of the time).  He has us all arou...

I remember the day Rory was diagnosed like it was yesterday.  It has been replayed in my mind many times.  While I remember little of what was said the words of Rory’s Neurosurgeon, Andrew Law,...

We are celebrating fantastic milestones in Rory’s life this month.  He is still alive two years after being diagnosed with brain cancer on the 17th of March 2009.  On Sunday he turns 9, when tw...

The boys have been fortunate over the past few days to have been exposed to several amazing men, who with courage, passion, determination, and hard work have realised extraordinary dreams.  They w...

Small miracles are a bit like mushrooms, they rise up at random, without warning, without input, and defying explanation.  Both are an unexpected gift.  A small miracle happened with Rory a week ...

Sometimes I feel angry.  Cancer could still be within Rory.  It could appear at any time, forcing another battle for his life, which statistics say he would be unlikely to win.  It isn’t fair ...

Sam and Rory have had some fantastic experiences over the past two weeks.  I am glad they had the opportunity to do so, but I couldn’t find any peace until they were home, and we were all togeth...

Happy New Year!  We feel fortunate as we begin the path into 2011.  We are all well.  Having a new baby has had an impact on our lives, and is changing the dynamic of our family.  We have all ...

Sean, Sam, Rory, Colt and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas with the people you love, accompanied by delicious food and a few special pressies!  We wish you all that is good for 2011, health, ...

Just a quick entry today to let you all know Colt Ngahere Gardiner was born at 12 minutes past midnight on Sunday morning.  He weighed 3.5kgs (7lb 14ozs), and has the same dark blue eyes Sam and R...

We have celebrated three birthdays in our family over the past three weeks, Sam turned 11, cousin Mikayla turned 2, and Sean hit 39 (yes only one year away from the big 4-0).  Coupled with the lea...

I’m sure we have all been following the Pike River coal mine disaster where 29 miners lost their lives this week.  My heart goes out to their families at this traumatic time.  I know what it fe...

We were lucky to receive the greatest Christmas present on Wednesday - the MRI of Rory's brain was clear of cancer.  It was a huge relief, and there was a lump in my throat.  I took a lot of deep...

We’re back in the same place again .... standing in front of the mountain which contains the threat of cancer.  It makes me feel like the journey of our lives is a loop road, which we keep going...

Happy Birthday to Nana Honnor, and Conor Wily, who celebrated their special day during the past fortnight.  It was neat to be able to celebrate Nana’s birthday with her, but sad for Sam as he wa...

The boys and I didn’t have any trouble filling in the last week of the school holidays.  We went swimming at the Aquatic Centre, biking on the coastal walkway (I meandered along), and had cousin...

I thought I would have plenty of time to keep the website up-to-date during the school holidays, but I was wrong.  The boys and I have been on the go from get-up until bed time every day.  Thank ...

I am now 6 months pregnant with a decent sized soccer ball filling my sides and middle.  I am starting to find it difficult to pick up things from the floor and get my shoes on, and I find it hard...

The Honnor-Gardiner household has been increased by one with the arrival of our cat Sparky from Dargaville.  Sparky appeared as a tiny kitten under our trampoline one weekend Rory and I were home ...

It was Daffodil Day last week.  It stirred up a range of emotions for me.  A good friend of mine said for him it was ‘Rory Day’.  I was touched by this.  Living with cancer in your life can...

When I sat down to write this weeks blog I thought there wouldn’t be much to tell.  However, when I cast my eye over the diary I saw there has been plenty going on.  I was an avid diary writer ...

It has been an up and down week.  The holiday at Disneyworld, Florida, USA is off.  We couldn’t find a travel insurance company prepared to cover Rory for the two week holiday.  The cost of me...

Our life in Taranaki is developing its own routine as we become settled.  We are slowly finding a new ‘normal’ which can’t help but be influenced by the appearance of cancer in our lives.  ...

We received the best news this week .... the MRI of Rory’s brain was clear of cancer.  It is the third clear scan (Jan, Apr, Jul) since he finished treatment in December.  I always manage to re...

The pre-MRI jitters have set in ahead of Rory and I’s 3-monthly trip to Auckland tomorrow.  It’s hard to hold them back.  You take a deep breath and tell yourself there is going to be nothing...

Congratulations to our good friend Mandy McGregor, designer of Rory’s website.  She has been selected for the NZ archery team which will compete at the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi in October...

We have had fantastic weather for the past week.  It has been below 0 degrees in the morning, white outside with thick frost.  The snow is low on Mt Taranaki, and we have had a clear view across ...

Poppa Honnor calls us ‘Northland wimps’, and I must admit none of us look too flash at the moment.  I took Rory to the Doctor on Friday, and he prescribed an antibiotic.  Yesterday Rory still...

We are settling into our new home, gradually unpacking boxes and rediscovering pieces of our old life.  Having a home of our own again feels foreign, and almost unbelievable.  I know in time we w...

The days seem to slip quickly by between website entries.  It is hard to find time to write with so many new things beginning in our lives.  Rory and Sam are settling into the class routines at ...

We are all together in Taranaki, and slowly feeling our way along a new path.  Sean arrived on the 4th of June.  The moving truck containing the contents of our house beat him by two hours, so Na...

It has been hard to find time to update the website.  I have been on my own for a week and there has been a lot to do.  Sean is still in the north completing work commitments, organising the tran...

We’ve made it home to Taranaki, and managed to get Rory out of hospital.  For a while there I doubted we were going to achieve either.  I felt so tired and low I didn’t know how much longer I...

Rory is still in Whangarei Hospital.  The red shingles rash has spread backwards over the right side of his scalp, down his forehead, around and under his eye, and down beside his ear.  There are...

Rory is on the Children’s Ward at Whangarei Hospital.  He has been through so much, suffered so much, it seems unfair he has to endure more.  It makes me alternately angry, sick, and heartbroke...

Today is the boy’s final day at Dargaville Primary School.  I know they are both sad about it.  The last term and a half at DPS have made a huge difference to Sam and Rory.  They are a lot str...

This morning Sean, Sam, Rory and I saw our new baby for the first time.  It’s only 2cm long and 8.5 weeks old.  It’s heart was beating strongly and rapidly, and it had a definite human shape....

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed and emotional.  Our lives have moved into a new phase.  Since January we have been patiently waiting for the balls we have thrown to drop as we get on with our ...

Rory is starting to work unsupported for short periods of time in the classroom.  Miss Hallett has modified the activities to suit his learning needs i.e. less volume, or in a different format.  ...

The wheels are finally turning for our move to Taranaki.  I have a notepad of lists covering everything from moving ourselves and our household effects, transitioning the boys to a new school, the...

We send our condolences to Madeline, Mark, Kaye, Conor and Zac Wily this week as they lost a husband, father and granddad.  Our thoughts are with you at this sad time, and we send our love.  Sea...

It has been a quiet week.  We continue to wait to hear the outcome of Sean’s interview with the Taranaki Regional Council.  We remain optimistic.  Sean took the boys to school on Monday while...

I think the news and activity of the week has caught up with me.  I’ve definitely been slower this weekend.  This morning I took the dogs for a walk up the back while Sean got the boys breakfas...

My brain is whirling.  I’m going to have to slow it down so I can pick apart what has occurred over the past three days.  The most profound occurrence for Sean and I was a discussion with Mr La...

To everyone out there who is following Rory's journey please give yourselves a pat on the back (and a whoop of joy) .......  Rory's MRI was clear!  I know your love, positive vibes, support and ...

We are all on edge today, hearts beating faster, short of breathing, restless with exploding bubbles in our stomachs.  Rory’s MRI is at 5.15pm tonite.  This morning he was ready early pacing ar...

It was a beautiful day out at Rawhiti for the Cape Brett Challenge yesterday (Saturday), clear, windless and hot (although it started out cool).  The Cape Brett Challenge is the second hardest tra...

The progress of our lives is measured with small victories; Rory surviving brain surgery, selling our house, Rory completing treatment, our family unit remaining intact, a clear MRI.  Yesterday a ...

A rash appeared on my chest and tummy on Friday morning after a run.  At first I thought nothing of it.  But over the past three days it spread and worsened.  I have been pretty miserable, sore,...

I watch the boys a lot.  I’m not sure when I first started doing it but I think it must have been when the fog cleared a little at the end of the surgical phase of Rory’s treatment.  Having a...

Rory loves being able to have a bath at Nana and Poppas.  He lies down in the warm water up to his chin and rests his head on a sponge (the edge of the bath is too hard on his head).  He tells me...

Happy Birthday Uncle Guy ...... 34 years young today!! The week has somehow slipped by, and I let it.  I kept meaning to update Rory’s website but instead of clearing the deck I leapt into all ...

Happy 8th Birthday Rory (for the 27th).  It is a gift to continue to have you in our lives.  We couldn’t love you more.  xoxo  mum, dad and Sam When Rory was diagnosed with cancer in mid Mar...

Happy Birthday Poppa Honnor.  We send you lots of love xox On Monday afternoon the children set up their homework books for the week, then worked on their Topic profile posters.  Kody and Rory w...

  I'm struggling a bit at the moment.  We have a lot of balls up in the air.  My blogs on Rory's website only skim the surface of the issues we face, and the difficult decisions we are forced t...

  Being away from Rory on Wednesday made me very unsettled.  It was one year since he was diagnosed with cancer, and being at work in the morning was eerily like rewinding the clock one year.  ...

Rory was diagnosed with cancer one year ago today. 

  Happy 8th Birthday Kody Johnston.  Rory made a dog tag for Kody at Movie World.  It reads "Kody Johnston    Best friend in the west    from Rory".  I know being at school with Kody a...

  I'm going to chip away at our blog on Rory's website as there is so much to tell.  I cannot get through more than a few days at a time so there will be a number of instalments this week. Frida...

We are back in Aotearoa in one piece with plenty of fantastic memories, and loads of stories to tell, after a wonderful holiday on the Gold Coast, Australia.  This was made possible by the Make ...

  This will be my last update on Rory's website until the 15th of March as tomorrow we are going to Auckland, and travel on to the Gold Coast, Australia for Rory's Wish on Sunday.  It is going to...

  Rory has settled into school fairly well.  He is managing a whole day, and is comfortable in the classroom.  He is attempting most activities, and completing the lessons with support from me.Â...

  It was Sean's turn at school with Rory yesterday and he really enjoyed it.  Spending a day at school every week or two gives Sean the opportunity to participate in Rory's world.  He gets to se...

  The school days blur into each other.  When we are not on the road we are in the class room, and there is no shortage of work to do.  My primary role at school is to assist Rory.  In the quie...

  I was happy to see Sam get off the bus on Friday afternoon.  I was all smiles, and rushed in to give him a hug.  He was embarrassed and grumpily shrugged me off.  I was hurt and a little angr...

  It was difficult for me to watch Sam head off with his class for senior camp on Wednesday.  In some ways he seems older than his peers, but he is only 10, and my first born.  He loves to go on...

  People regularly ask me how Rory is.  When I tell them he is in remission they express their relief and joy.  A common comment is "now it is all over your lives can return to normal".  For us...

  It's lunch time and I'm not yet on top of the tasks put aside during my brief break from family life.   I've been playing catch up all morning, and a mountain of paper work still awaits! It w...

  Sean enjoyed his day at school with Rory yesterday (Wednesday).  He got lucky and had it easy!  There was a slight hiccup at the start of the day as they left late and got caught behind slow t...

  Rory lost his first tooth today!  He has had a wiggly tooth in the middle on his bottom jaw for a few months but couldn't bring himself to pull it out, or let any of us near it.  How Rory reac...

  One thing we try not to do in our house is put off things.  The ever present threat of cancer means time is precious.  To put off we want to do may mean losing the opportunity for ever.  One ...

  It was back to primary school yesterday for Rory and Sam.  They have been away from 'normal' school for so long both were reluctant, anxious and uncertain about returning.  Rory asked me sever...

  I resigned from my job at Whangarei District Council today.  Although I knew it was coming it is a shock to my system being without work. I returned to work on a part-time basis in January 200...

  We are back in the north and it's raining.  When it rains in Taranaki Sam says "I wish the mountain would stop crying" so it seems appropriate it's raining because I feel a little blue.  I fee...

  It was clear.  The MRI of Rory's brain and spine was clear.  There is no visible evidence of cancer. I had to ask Dr Stephen three times if he was sure.  I had prepared myself for the worst ...

  I am trying to stay calm about what this week will deliver.  I push the potential terrible outcome down inside me.  I refuse to think about it, but it is hard.  It is like someone is playing ...

  Happy 10th Birthday Lewis Miller aka the Pocket Rocket for Tuesday!Happy Birthday Tim Shaw aka Tarzan for Wednesday!Uncle Guy, my brother, works at Sport Taranaki and yesterday he spent the day ...

  I know my experience with cancer has made me appreciate life more, and negotiate bumps in the road with greater calmness and acceptance.  This afternoon when the boys and I got back to our car ...

  It is quieter in the house tonight as I sit down at the table to let my fingers do the talking.  Sam is curled up on the couch with a large pile of comic books, the same comic books I read when...

  I don't know if any of you remember me mentioning Carson Leslie.  He was a boy with medulloblastoma from Texas, USA who featured on You-Tube talking about his battle with cancer.  I posted a l...

  It's amazing how, even when your life is turned inside out, and you are put through the ringer to emerge a different person, some things remain the same.  One of these things is the relationshi...

  I feel a bit tired, and I'm not sure why.  Sleep and food aren't providing a pick up, and I find myself longing for a can of coke or a chocolate bar.  Our days are packed with activity from th...

  We are now three.  Sean flew back to Whangarei this afternoon to return to work.  Sam, Rory and I have stayed on in New Plymouth with Nana and Poppa Honnor for the rest of the school holidays....

  Happy New Year!  We wish you all health and happiness for 2010.  We have learnt these are the most important components of life, and should never be taken for granted. We woke with clear head...

  We continue to meet Rory's long-term effects head on.  You wouldn't believe how hard it is to set aside half an hour every day for Rory's therapy.  Life has a habit of getting in the way, and ...

  Happy Birthday Grandad Gardiner for Christmas day! Happy Birthday Korie Morrison who turned 8 on Monday!We had a neat Christmas day in Taranaki.  It was warm and clear and Mt Taranaki was resp...

We want to wish everyone who has supported Rory, and our family, in 2009 a Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy 2010. Words cannot express how much your support has meant to us, and thank-you se...

  Rory's eyelashes and eyebrows are growing back.  From a distance it looks as though someone has drawn them on with eyeliner, but if you look up close you can see the baby hairs (3mm long).  It...

  We've done it.  Rory's made it through treatment.  Rory had his Hickman line out today, nine long months after he was diagnosed (to the day).  It hasn't sunk in.  I think we are all in shock...

  It is fantastic to watch a little of the old Rory emerge each day.  Little by little he grows in strength and confidence.  He has started to do some of the things we haven't seen or heard him ...

  I look forward to the day life's not a battle, when I can feel positive because there is a good chance what I wish to happen, what needs to happen, will happen.  I called Starship on Friday to ...

  We are sweltering under a hot sunny sky.  Today the temperature reached 27 degrees.  This afternoon Rory complained of a headache.  This sent off alarm bells in me.  Rory has the shunt under...

  Happy 38th Birthday Sean. December brings a run of birthdays in our family, first Sam, then Sean, then Grandad Gardiner on Christmas Day, and Auntie Teri just before New Year.  With the additi...

  I have failed Rory twice this year.  The night he came out of surgery to remove the largest brain tumour, and today.  I remember going into the recovery area like it was yesterday.  It had be...

  Rory received a blood transfusion today at Whangarei hospital and I'm not very impressed by the standard of care he received.  On Monday, and yesterday, I finalised the arrangements for the tra...

  Happy 10th birthday Sam!Today is Sam's 10th birthday.  Double figures.  I can't believe a decade has passed since he arrived a month early at Whangarei Hospital.  I didn't get to see or hold ...

  It's amazing how difficult it is to set aside half an hour every day for Rory's therapy programme.  It needs to be calm, relaxed unhurried time so he can concentrate and we can complete all the...

  Several people have asked me how long I intend to continue with our journal on Rory's website.  I think people think Rory's journey is complete, when this is far from the truth.  The past eigh...

  I returned to work at Whangarei District Council today and it was a foreign experience to put on lady-like clothes and shoes, and spend all day working in an office.  In some respects it was li...

  Rory has enjoyed a weekend at 'home'.  I think it is a bit of a shock to his system to be doing normal things.  His eating improves each day as he is now eating a greater variety and amount of...

  Rory took a decision out of our hands this morning when he vomited up the ng tube.  This occured soon after he woke at 6am.  It has pleased and freaked us out at the same time.  He is now fre...

  It has been a pretty overwhelming couple of days.  This is the first opportunity I have had to let my fingers do the talking, and I do so amid a fair amount of chaos.  We have arrived back 'ho...

  The Doctors and Nurses at Starship have done a wonderful job caring for Rory this year.  They have saved his life, and kept him alive and as comfortable as possible during treatment I could nev...

  Rory is still on the ward.  His white blood count has increased to 0.67 but it wasn't high enough to convince the Doctor to release him.  It has been a quiet solemn day as Rory and I have watc...

  We hoped Rory would be discharged to the RM apartment on Friday but his white blood count was too low.  Again this morning we hoped he would be allowed out, but his white blood count had fallen...

  It looks as though Rory may be discharged to the RM apartment in the next 2-3 days, and we may get him 'home' to Whakapara by the end of next week, although nothing is ever definite around here ...

  Rory reached 700 beads of courage today.  He has five black beads (needle pokes) left to start his next string.  He has earnt roughly 100 beads per month since diagnosis (excluding the month h...

  There is little dignity in bearing children.  Women are exposed, examined, and subject to all manner of medical treatment.  There are long lasting physical and mental changes.  There is also ...

  The doctors have found the reason Rory has been so miserable and under the weather.  His blood culture has come back positive for a staph infection, likely in his Hickman line.  The news is a ...

  Rory's temperature continued to niggle last night.  When he went to bed it was still 37.8 degrees.  I kept sneaking into his room to take his temperature every few.  By 8.15pm he had reached ...

  We think Rory is brewing an infection.  His temperature remains consistently elevated (37.5 degrees), his heart rate is up, and he has fallen to pieces.  Walking around the apartment is an eff...

  During the tough times I am reminded of how many fabulous people we have in our corner.  I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for the many selfless, caring, unique, and valuab...

  We are now playing the watching and waiting game, barely taking our eyes off Rory, waiting to see if he develops a temperature.  This is the key indicator of an infection while his blood counts...

  Tonight Rory is asleep in his bed in the RM House apartment.  Sean did the night shift on the ward last night and Rory was restless, sleeping little.  I have noticed his sleeping pattern chang...

  Today Rory received the last of his stem cells which were harvested in April.  The stem cell infusion lasted around 10 minutes, and made Rory feel awful and vomit.  It also depresses his heart...

  Rory is exhausted, and I'm not surprised.  The (cumulative) impact of the chemotherapy, the vomiting and diahorea, and the lack of sleep have drained him.  He has slept almost all day.  Sean,...

  Rory received his final dose of chemotherapy drugs (Cyclophosphamide) this morning, but there has been little opportunity for celebration as he has been suffering all day.  The vomiting continu...

  We all seem to be different during this cycle of chemo; calmer, more organised, more patient, and in some strange way more relaxed.  It's like we are no longer fighting the situation.  I think...

  We are back into the routine of biding our time on the ward while Rory receives chemotherapy.  It was a typical hospital night, broken by the frequent need to pee, disturbance by the nurse, and...

  We have returned to Starship for Rory's fourth and final cycle of high dose chemotherapy.  I almost can't believe he has been trying to beat the cancer since the 17th of March.  Where have the...

  The boys were lights out tonight, and are now sound asleep after a day (two for Sam) in the Kaipara.  It was strange going back.  It felt like we had never left, but also like we had been gone...

  We have made the most of the fine weather over the past couple of days, getting out into the wilds of Northland.  Yesterday (Saturday) we said goodbye to Sam.  He was heading over to Dargavill...

  The days at Whakapara pass by quickly.  It's quite a change to the slow days in Starship.  There always seems to be plenty to do, and we are lucky it is sunny and warn.  As much as I would li...

  It is quiet inside the house at Whakapara.  Grandad, Grannie and Sean have gone to work, and the boys are outside under Grannie's lemon tree with Zsa Zsa the dog making lemon juice.  It is a w...

  The cost of chemotherapy is starting to show itself in Rory's test results.  We got news today we weren't expecting to hear.  One of the side effects of high dose Cisplatin (one of the chemo d...

  I read an article in a magazine recently about a woman who had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  The angle of the article was to provide insight into the sphere of a cancer fighter.  The wom...

  It seems there is no pleasing some people!  We have been itching to get Rory out of Starship but this afternoon when the Doctor said he could go to the RM apartment my first reaction was disbel...

  We were sad to see Nana and Poppa Honnor leave late this morning.  We haven't been able to make regular pilgrimages to the Naki this year so we have seen less of them.  It has been hard for ev...

  I tried to get the Doctors to discharge Rory to the Apartment today but they wouldn't.  Rory's white blood count has dropped to 0.28 from 0.48 yesterday so they remain concerned about the high ...

  Nana Honnor has been on duty with me on the ward today.  We have kept Rory busy.  I read some of the new Geronimo Stilton book Nana and Poppa bought, we have played numerous board games, Rory ...

  Nothing has grown from any of Rory's samples.  In other words, no infection has been found.  This doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have one though.  The fact he had a low grade temperature...

  Rory had a rough night, and Sean looked worse for wear as well this morning.  Around 8.30pm Rory vomited, and was on the toilet half an hour later.  His urine was very concentrated and he was ...

  Happy Birthday Zack (Wily) for yesterday.  We hope you had a fantastic day.  I forgot to include our best wishes in the blog last night. Rory is back in Starship.  I was beginning to think h...

  We have been making the most of our time in Auckland, getting out and about discovering what the region has to offer.  Although none of us like the city, or would want to live there, Auckland h...

  Sean and I continue to get up in the night to Rory, but thankfully last night he didn't vomit.  We managed to get 738mls of milkshake into him (at 50mls/hr), and he managed to keep it down.  I...

  We had a repeat episode with Rory last night.  He woke at 1.30am needing the bathroom.  When he got back to bed he was restless and uncomfortable.  He was sick at 2am, and this time the ng tu...

  Rory coughed on and off all night.  I don't think any of us got much sleep.  When we weren't getting up to Rory I think Sean and I were lying in bed worrying and listening, waiting to get up t...

  Rory has been discharged from Starship but none of us feel as buoyed about it as we have in the past.  It is incredibly worrying how much lower he is after each subsequent dose of chemo.  Afte...

  It is quiet in Rory's ward room as we wait for his stem cells to arrive for his transplant.  Rory is asleep, he is worn out from five nights of interrupted sleep, the chemo, and the regular vom...

  Rory continued to vomit yesterday (Saturday).  The Doctors tried three types of anti-nausea medication but nothing seemed to work.  It was the same during the previous cycles of chemo.  Rory ...

  Happy Birthday Mands and Heni.  I hope you wahine ataahua (beautiful ladies) have a great day.  You are in our thoughts. Rory has been feeling pretty miserable over the last 24 hours.  He re...

  Rory received a blood transfusion yesterday (Thursday) morning so the third cycle of chemo could start.  The Doctor said if we wait for his counts to come up on their own we won't be treating h...

  Life has finally stopped spinning and it seems ironic it has occurred because Rory has returned to Starship.  When I look back over the last couple of weeks at what we have been through, and wh...

  The boys have settled into life at Whakapara fairly easily.  They are close to Grannie and Grandad Gardiner, and have always enjoyed staying at their home.  I don't think the finality of the m...

  Returning to Whangarei was a surreal experience.  As I arrived with our gear it felt like the last three years in the Kaipara didn't exist, like it had all been something I had dreamed.  The s...

  Our lives in the Kaipara are starting to unravel as we pack up, and say goodbye.  The house has almost been emptied.  Our belongings are packed into many boxes.  As we clear each room I feel ...

  I am at a bit of a loss for words today.  It is really hard to convey just how much the Kaipara community has done for us, how much we are moved by it, and how thankful we are.  Words always f...

  Rory has continued to sleep through the night since he got home, only waking for a pee or when the pump alarm goes off because he is lying on the tube stopping the flow.  We are grateful for th...

  Sean brought Rory home last night, and he had been home a little over an hour before disaster struck.  He sat at the dinner table last night and ate a little bit, the first time he has done thi...

  I have woken up disoriented the last couple of mornings, unsure of where I am, or whether I need to leap out of bed to respond to Rory.  My head is still swimming.  Sean spent Tuesday night on...

  I found a support group online for families who live with medulloblastoma (the type of brain tumour Rory has) in their lives ( www.medulloblastoma.org ).  The group is based out of America.  I...

  It is wonderful to see a little light in our lives.  The sun is shining in the sky outside, and inside the ward room Rory is making a birthday card for Grannie Gardiner who turns the big 60 at ...

  Rory is still feeling tired, miserable, and unwell in himself.  I wish there was something I could do to lift him up so he could find his feet, but he only picks up for short intervals then fal...

  I find it a real dilemma every day as I complete the blogs on Rory's website as to how open and honest I should be.  How much information should I share?  How much of myself, and my family's, ...

  Rory's sore stomach and diahorea returned last night.  It was obvious we wouldn't be leaving the ward.  The Nurse stopped his milkshake and placed him back on iv fluids.  The Doctor this morn...

  We very nearly made it to RM House but tonight we are spending another night on the ward.  The Doctor thinks the vomiting and diahorea were a result of the chemo and nothing more.  Repeated ep...

  Rory is back on ward 27b and I am very relieved he is looking better this morning.  Yesterday was a nightmare.  On Monday night I managed to get some Pedialyte into his stomach before I connec...

  Sean and I have been reassessing how we manage our lives now we are in the grips of chemo.  It has been almost six months since Rory was diagnosed.  After the initial shock, urgency and totall...

  I'm worried about Rory, and frightened.  He's just not himself.  This round of chemo has really knocked him.  He is a lot more tired than I expected him to be, and he's still vomiting intermi...

  Rory received the second batch of his stem cells today to rescue his immune system after his second cycle of chemo.  It isn't a very nice process but thankfully occurs fairly quickly (within 10...

  Rory has perked up a bit today.  He was sick not long after he woke up this morning, and again late this afternoon but has been relatively settled in between.  Rory's weight has come up 100 gr...

  I was shocked to see Rory this afternoon.  Seeing a child without hair and with a large proportion of their facial hair missing is shocking enough, but Rory is also colourless and weak.  He lo...

  It has been a tough day all round.  Rory started vomiting at 5am this morning, and it was so hard he brought up his ng tube.  He has been sick intermittently all day.  The doctors wanted anot...

  The day has passed by in a bit of a blur, I feel like I am one of those runners at the gym on a treadmill running increasingly faster but getting nowhere.  I continue to feel uneasy being away ...

  Half of our family is missing tonight, and I have started packing our lives into boxes, so it feels a little empty in the Waihue house.  Sean took Rory to Starship this morning.  He was re-adm...

  Sometimes I feel totally over whelmed with everything which is going on in our lives, no matter how much I do, or how fast I go, there is always more, and more, and more.  Things change in the ...

  I managed to get Rory home yesterday but it was like completing a long and gruelling obstacle course.  I spent much of Sunday night fighting the naso-gastric (ng) tube.  The nurses had given h...

  Auckland on a Sunday morning is a much more likeable place.  There are fewer cars, fewer people, and it's quieter and slower as a result.  Rory and I like these times, being out and about earl...

  My thoughts are with Trudi and her family (husband Brian, Kody, Ben and Stella) tonight.  Stella has been admitted to Whangarei Hospital with pneumonia.  I know how scary it can be when your c...

  When I look at Rory sometimes it is hard to see the little boy who is in the pictures taken at the start of the year.  He is losing what we called 'the fuzz' from his head, and his eyebrows and...

  When the alarm went off at 12.30am for me to wake and give Rory his Maxilon I don't think either of us were very clear headed.  I had dozed on and off for two hours fearful I would sleep throug...

  The feeding pump ticks away softly between Rory and I's beds as I complete today's diary entry.  I dropped Sam at school this morning and headed south to return to Starship.  I arrived around ...

  There seems to be as much going on behind the scenes in our lives as there is with Rory's treatment.  Sam received a gold certificate at assembly at Dargaville Primary yesterday.  This was in ...

  Patience is something we need large quantities of during this final phase of Rory's treatment.  We have to run with whatever occurs, spend large amounts of time indoors in a single room in Star...

  It's quiet in the room this afternoon, Sean and Rory are both asleep.  The sun is shining in the window.  Rory received platelet and blood transfusions yesterday afternoon.  The platelets are...

  I'm amazed Rory hasn't slept at all during the day over the past couple of days considering what he has been through.   He is a very different boy to the vibrant Rory we brought to Auckland a ...

  I nearly lost it last night.  Only the need to comfort and reassure Rory, and be strong for him, stopped me becoming hysterical.  Rory woke from yesterday's afternoon sleep flushed, unhappy an...

  Rory and I visited the Auckland Botanic Gardens today, and I was surprised at how much he enjoyed it.  The Gardens is full of every kind of plant imaginable (almost), and many artistic sculptur...

  Rory and I have had a day full of interesting activity.  This morning we headed out to Crystal Mountain under the Waitakere Ranges.  There is a collection of crystals, fossils, and stalagmites...

  Rory's immune system is at rock bottom.  The doctor today said it couldn't get any lower, but will hopefully show some recovery by Friday as a result of the daily GCSF injections to boost his t...

  Rory has had a big day and is asleep beside me with his Kia Kaha Rory wrist band on his arm.  He is very proud of it.  He had a restless night last night.  He is still getting leg pain, and h...

  Todays news is relayed from Sean at RM House.  Rory sleep through the night last night and has managed to eat a little over the last 24 hours.  Yesterday he and Sean got out for some fresh air...

  Rory was a bit better yesterday morning, and when I arrived at the Ward he was drinking water and managed to eat a small bowl of ricies.  We were all hoping he could be discharged to RM House a...

  Rory received his stem cells today.  It was a pretty frightening experience.  The stem cells were his, harvested back in April.  The stem cells were stored in a bag with a preservative, which...

  Today was day -1, a rest from the chemo drugs, and we are all relieved.  Rory has continued to receive iv fluids, although the volume has been reduced, pain relief, anti-nausea medication, and ...

  Another day has passed and Rory is still being knocked around by the chemotherapy drugs.  He is very nauseous and has not eaten anything, while he hasn't vomited everything has passed out of hi...

  Rory's not feeling so good today, and I can't say I'm surprised.  He has now been connected via iv for 36 hours, first for fluids, then for medication to minimise the impact of the chemo drugs,...

  Rory is asleep early tonight.  It's hard to know if this is because of the chemo, or because he is recovering from surgery yesterday or the interrupted sleep last night.  It's hard sleeping on...

  Rory came through his sixth surgery today.  The surgeons made a cut under the front of his neck and tunnelled a tube into one of the main arteries.  The bottom of the tube exits his chest near...

I had forgotten what the hospital is like, you either sit around for hours patiently trying to fill in the time, or you are madly rushing from one activity to the next squeezing everything in by th...

  Rory and I are back at Ronald McDonald House.  It's almost like we haven't been gone.  Where did the five weeks go?  There were many new faces at the Family Dinner tonight, and some old ones ...

  Havana Ruby Poole was born at 1am this morning on the North Shore.  She is the first born of my high school friend Cindy and her fiancé Neville.  Cindy is the last of the 'girls' to have a ba...

  I try not to cry in public because it embarrasses my little men, an emotional show of female weakness they don't know how to deal with.  On occasion I can't help but get a lump in my throat and...

  I took Rory out of school yesterday, to travel across to Whangarei with me, for a QE II Trust event at Matapouri.  I was a girly swot at school.  My parents (particularly dad) always placed gr...

  The children have been asked to write a story about their holidays.  I'm curious to know which activity Rory will write about, which one had the greatest impact on him.  Children's minds work ...

  Yesterday as we were heading out Sam said to me 'watch out for the steps for Rory mum, they're slippery'.  I was touched, and it made me realise how we have all adjusted to Rory's illness, and ...

  People often ask me how do we pack so much into our lives, when do we sleep, how do we find the energy to keep going, and why don't we let obstacles such as bad weather deter us from adventure.Â...

Rory and Sam have headed off, out of my sight, for a night with Grannie and Grandad Gardiner at Whakapara.  They were excited, and told Sean and I, in no uncertain terms, we weren't invited.  I m...

  I think we must have brought some of the Taranaki cold home with us, the thermometer hasn't risen above 8 degrees today which is cold for Northland.  When we arrived home this afternoon our big...

  We made it home to the winterless north, only nine hours in the car!  Thanks goodness for the Nintendo Gameboys.  The boys intersperse playing them with drawing, reading, and the odd game of '...

  We have covered Taranaki from the mountain to the sea today.  It was cold last night and we woke this morning to a clear view of snow covered Mount Taranaki and the Pouakai range.  Of course t...

  Considering what Rory has been through it is amazing how 'normal' he still is.  He isn't on any medication and still takes part in the activities we have always done while we are 'home' in the ...

  Ko Taranaki taku maunga.  Taranaki is my mountain.  I often wonder which mountain the boys belong to.  They have both grown up in the north, but share a special connection with Mount Taranaki...

  We have left the winterless north for a week in Taranaki and I have to say the weather is not much better, it's still wet but 2-4 degrees colder!  We always spend our trips to the Naki rushing ...

  Happy Birthday Sacha!  The boys snuck into bed this morning and gave Sean and I a pinch and a punch for the first of the month.  I woke up feeling miserable with a head cold so of course was c...

  Rory sat on the floor with his class at assembly for the first time today.  I sat on a bench on the side of the hall looking over a sea of heads, full of hair of earthy colours; blonde, ginger,...

  Rory was thrilled to see Korie walking through the school gate this morning.  He fills the reserved empty male space in their group of desks.  The end result was I lost my seat.  I was lucky ...

  It's me and Sparky our kitten in Rory's class today, along with all the other children.  Sparky needed his first immunisations this morning and Rory wouldn't let me leave him at the vet until l...

  I am sitting at Korie's desk, next to Rory and Kody, in Room 3 at Dargaville Primary.  Rory was eager to get back to school this morning, he even wanted to catch the bus, but I had an anxiety a...

Sean is going to complete the final run for radiotherapy and take Rory to Auckland for the next two days. Tomorrow Rory has his final radiotherapy treatment - number 31. Yay!!!. The effects of r...

  It was hard to hear about the chemotherapy today.  It's going to last a minimum of 16 weeks (longer than surgery and radiotherapy combined), and if Rory gets to go home at all during this time ...

  It will be nice to have a little normality in our lives for the three weeks Rory has off between radiotherapy and his operation/the start of chemotherapy.  I think we are both a little tired of...

  I got a bit of a shock at radiotherapy this morning.  Anne, one of the Technicians, said Rory would finish his radiotherapy on Monday.  I had calculated he would finish his 33 treatments on We...

  Rory and I are back in Auckland for his second to last week of radiotherapy.  After completing his treatment today he has only seven remaining!  We were pleased to hear, when we arrived back t...

  What an amazing weekend.  What an amazing community.  When we moved from Whangarei to Dargaville three years ago many people couldn't understand our decision.  Dargaville is a small rural tow...

  The boys loved Rainbows End this morning.  As soon as radiotherapy session number 24 had finished they were itching to be away.  We were at the park gates before it opened.  The boys started ...

  All of Rory's results are ok which is good news.  We saw Dr Simon (see the photo, plus the one of his fab yellow shoes which inspired Rory) this morning and he said the ultrasound was normal. ...

  I am glad I brought Sam with Rory and I to Auckland this week.  It has given him an insight into what Rory is going through, and it has given Rory a boost to be able to show Sam around and teac...

  I'll never forget seeing the boys tear along Waiotemarama beach yesterday afternoon.  They were both happy and excited.  Sam took off to explore the rock pools and Rory was equally determined....

  I had to change all the calendars in the house today, they all still said May.  I don't know where the time has gone, it has been 12 weeks since Rory was diagnosed.  Much has changed, yet some...

  Rory has completed radiotherapy sessions 19 and 20.  Yesterdays session nearly didn't happen due to the sharp pains Rory continues to get on and off in his sides.  Yesterday morning he couldn'...

  I woke up this morning and thought Rory and Sean were still at home.  Living in two places and managing two realities is often quite disorienting, and it's hard to remember who is where and wha...

  Sean and Rory are on their way to Auckland as I write this, Sean is taking care of Rory this week while I try and get some work done and look after Sam.  They were lucky enough to cross paths w...

  It has been a bit of a whirl wind week, Rory and I can't believe we are heading home tomorrow.  This weekend is a bit of a treat.  Because it's a long weekend Rory doesn't have to return to Au...

  Rory has almost completely lost his hair.  The pieces of hair have been driving him nuts, itching his neck and back as they get caught in his clothes.  He steadfastly refuses to wear a hat.  ...

  Nana and Poppa Honnor arrived from New Plymouth today for a visit.  It was lovely to see them and Rory enjoyed sharing some of what he has been through and learnt with them.  There are many pe...

  So many people say to me it must be the most awful thing to have to go through and I never know how to respond.  Hearing Rory's diagnosis, and the first meeting with the Neurosurgeon where he l...

  We are all winding down after an enjoyable weekend in the Kauri Coast, and I am trying to motivate myself to wind up and pack for the coming week ahead.  The highlight of the weekend was defini...

  Rory and Sean arrived home just after lunch, and it has taken 4 hours to clear the deck of gear!  Sean took some classic photos this week which are up on the website (Waitapu beach was taken in...

  It seems like a long week away from home when Rory and I are in Auckland, and it seems like an equally long week at home when Rory is away with Sean.  It has been good to see everyone at work a...

  I visited Dargaville Medical Centre this afternoon and I was blown away to see the staff wearing green ribbons to support Rory.  The lovely office ladies at Dargaville Primary, Mrs Pocklington ...

  Sean and Rory have had some boys time in Auckland today.  Following Rory's 8th radiotherapy treatment they headed into town to cruise the gun stores, then climbed One Tree Hill.  Rory said it ...

  All the news will be relayed this week courtesy of Sean from Ronald McDonald House.  I will put up all the photos on Friday.  Sean and Rory visited Dargaville Primary School this morning to sh...

  Rory and Sean left for Auckland this morning.  I thought I would feel a sense of relief to not have to ship out and face whatever lies in the week ahead but I didn't.  I felt mostly fear, anxi...

Rory and I are back at home.  It's a bit dizzying living two separate lives in two different places.  We seem to spend a lot of time packing and unpacking, winding up and winding down.  Next wee...

  It has been a relatively quiet day.  Radiotherapy session 5 was ticked off.  Rory had electrodes taped to his shut eyelids during todays treatment to check his eyes are not being affected.  T...

  Steph said to Rory and I today 'you guys always manage to pack plenty into your days' and I wouldn't have it any other way.  Life is for living, and we appreciate this now more than ever.  Ror...

  Rory attended radiotherapy session number 3 this morning.  He seems to have made peace with what he has to do, and the specialists are getting quicker at positioning him.  They are focusing on...

  The past three days have gone by in a bit of a blur.  It was wonderful to finally get Rory home, hug Sam, see dad, and sleep in our own beds.  It was 7 weeks and 3 days since Rory had left.  ...

  Rory and I are sitting in Starship waiting for the last infusion of his antibiotics to finish so we can go home.  It is definitely a time of mixed feelings.  We are both excited, nervous, happ...

  A Doctor pulled off the impossible at lunchtime and found a functioning vein in Rory's right arm, much to the relief of ID, so we are back to sleeping on the ward.  He had a good sleep at RM Ho...

  The CT scan showed Rory's ventricles are smaller which indicates his shunt is working.  However he is still getting intermittent headaches which we are keeping an eye on, plus his cortisol leve...

  Last night was another interesting one.  We had a visit from one of my old friends from university days at Massey, Victoria Chapman.  The last time I saw Vic was when Rory was 1 and she stayed...

  It looks like a beautiful sunny day outside today.  One of the things we all stuggle with is being inside 24/7, and for Rory it is worst as for much of the last week he has been confined to bed...

  The worst moments over the journey for Sean and I have been when Rory has been in severe pain, and we haven't known the cause, or been able to do anything to stop it.  Last night was another on...

Rory has come out of his 5th surgery in six weeks.  The Charge Nurse in the surgical wing said they dish out special treatment for regulars like Rory.  He even discussed how he was to be put to s...

Every day it amazes me just what medical science can do.  Today Rory had the first harvest of the stem cells from his bone marrow.  He is connected to a machine via two lines in his left femoral ...

  It has been an overwhelming few days so I haven't had a chance to update the website.  Much has been happening.  When I manage to hit the pause button exhaustion kicks in and all I want to do ...

Rory's surgery went ahead yesterday.  They wheeled him into theatre with Sean at 12.55pm.  Sean looked a sight in a disposable yellow gown, blue shoes and pink hat.  Definitely a photo for the w...

Rory is currently waiting surgery.  He has been waiting since yesterday.  The Doctors called us on Friday night.  Rory's CT showed his ventricles (spaces in his brain) were more enlarged indicat...

It was an interesting night last night.  We had a visit from Uncle Jason, Wendy, Logan and Michaela from New Plymouth.  Uncle Jason is the head paediatric nurse at Taranaki Base Hospital.  He in...

Rory and I have had an up and down day.  Last night they informed us Rory's surgery to put a portacath (semi-permanent iv) in his chest would go ahead.  This will be used to harvest his stem cell...

Rory loved having Grannie Gardiner around for the day today.  It was a real treat for him to have her company.  She helped pass the time and ease Rory's discomfort during a temperature spike and...

Rory and I aren't too keen on spending nights on the ward.  We are both early birds while most patients are night owls watching tv and talking loudly until the wee small hours.  We are all para...

Sean met with Mr Law, our Neurosurgeon today.  The plan is to keep taking blood samples every time Rory's temperature goes over 38 degrees in the hope a blood culture will identify any infection i...

There has been little change in Rory's condition and he has the doctors baffled.  His temperature continues to fluctuate,  reaching up to 38.5 degrees twice per day.  All the blood samples taken...

Rory is looking forward to seeing dad (Sean) tonight.  Sam has been safely delivered to nana and poppa Honnor where I am sure he will be spoilt rotten for the rest of the holidays.  Rory and I vi...

Rory won't be heading home any time soon.  The Infectious Disease team at the Hospital have decided there hasn't been a significant enough improvement in his temperatures with the two antibiotics ...

Rory and I won't be going home tomorrow.  His temperature spiked to 38.5 degrees this afternoon, and 38 degrees is the cut off limit.  It is a tough time for both of us.  We are desperate to get...

Rory and I have settled back into routine now that Sean and Sam have returned home.  We are getting a reputation as the night owls of Ronald McDonald House and Starship!  But I think the lack of ...

Each day we hope Rory's temperature will remain stable but today it peaked at 1.30pm, just like yesterday.  The peaks are only occurring once a day now.  He is still on iv antibiotics and we hope...

Rory improves a little more each day.  It is great to see him with a smile on his face, and being able to walk short distances only holding our hands.  He continues to receive iv antibiotics (poo...

The source of Rory's spiking temperatures was finally found this afternoon.  Two types of bacteria have been identified in his blood stream (in the fourth test!).  The doctors have changed the an...

The Easter bunny found his way to us at Starship, and to Sean and Sam at Ronald McDonald House.  Rory again had an unsettled night.  His temperature is still spiking around 39 degrees twice a day...

It was a rough night, what with high temperatures, medication, monitoring, ivs, and blood tests.  Rory and I eventually fell asleep at 4.30am.  He awoke at 7am and said to me "Mum I've had a goo...

Happy Easter everyone! Rory's temperature continues to go up and down from 36.4 to 39.1 degrees.  He is also tired and having a few headaches.  The doctors aren't sure what is wrong.  His chest...

Just a quick update today as I have left Sean in charge.Rory had a rough night last night.  At one stage his temperature reached 38.5 degrees and his heart beat at 180 bpm.  He was restless on an...

Rory has been pretty miserable all day.  He is tired, sore, fed up with being unwell in hospital, and frustrated at being unable to do the normal things his friends all do.  He has been running a...

Rory underwent his second brain surgery today to debulk (remove) as much of the second tumour as possible.  They told us the operation would last 2-3 hours but it ended up taking 5.  It was a ver...

Dinner last night at Ronald McDonald House was really neat.  The Tamatea family decorated the dining area and there was a fairy magician doing tricks.  She ended her show by making cool things ou...

Today we visited Butterfly Creek.  We went into the butterfly aviary.  It was hot and Rory got sweaty as there are large heaters and a blower to mimic the butterflies homes.  The butterflies wer...

We forgot to mention yesterday that brother Sam did well at the Northern Wairoa primary schools swimming competition.  1st in back stroke and 2nd in freestyle.  Good to know he is battling on too...

Uncle Guy's birthday! Rory had his stitches out today.  There were 9 and two knots.  The main wound hasd dissolving stitches.  Steph, the Neurosurgeons Nurse removed them and Rory didn't blink...

Rory was discharged from Starship and we are now residing at Ronald McDonald House. We tried to get the Doctors to let us go home for the weekend but they said it was a little too far (2.5 hours)....

We all saw the website for the first time. Sean and I were shocked and touched. Rory was delighted. We had therapy with Rebecca. Rory's last iv line was removed. All medicine is now administer...

Leigh has written up Rory's vital stats and bits about Rory & what he is undergoing - check it out on the 'About Rory' page

The surgeries before Rory's ran over time, so they have bumped Rory's off for today. Meeting with Oncologist tomorrow to sort out when the surgery will now take place. Stressful day.

Rory is getting stronger every day, and is having his second operation tomorrow (tuesday) to remove another tumor found. Once he has had this operation they will be starting Radio and Chemotherapy.