Rory Gardiner's Webpage

18, May, 2009

18th May 2009


Rory and Sean left for Auckland this morning.  I thought I would feel a sense of relief to not have to ship out and face whatever lies in the week ahead but I didn't.  I felt mostly fear, anxiety, and separation.  Rory and I have only spent four nights apart in the last nine weeks.  I have been able to observe him and respond whenever it was required.  The earlier misdiagnosis, and down playing of his symptoms by the doctors, have made it harder to accept everything is ok.  I am sensitive to even the slightest change, worried it may be something significant, something life threatening.  I know I have to take a few deep breaths, trust Sean, and let go a little.  I know it will be better for both Rory and I, but it is hard fighting the mother instinct!  We had a great weekend, the sun was shining and it was warm.  We were able to get out for soccer on Saturday morning.  Sam's team won, as did Rory's team, coached by Thomas, Hugo's dad.  It was wonderful to see so many familiar faces; the Nichols (Mark, Raewyn, Lewis, Hannah and Jackson), the males from the Neuman family (Greg, Nikau and Matai), the Johnstons (Brian, Trudi, Kody, Ben and Stella), Kay, Conor and Zac Wily, Sharee Corston (thanks for the photos of Sam), and the Tregidgas (Daryl, Jo, Jessica, and Ethan).  On Sunday we headed up to the Lakes (Kai Iwi).  We walked around Lake Taharoa to a sheltered bay/beach and all the boys had a swim (most of the pictures were banned from the website!).  It was a little too cold for me.  We had fish and chips for lunch, and took Rory's good mate Kody home for the afternoon for a play.  It was lovely having him and seeing the two boys with their heads together, talking and playing.  It is an adjustment for Rory and those close to him.  Although he is standing and walking slowly unaided he cannot, at this point in time, run, jump or climb.  Many of the things the boys used to do together, usually at speed, cannot be done such as shooting and chasing games, kicking the soccer ball around, bouncing on the tramp, and climbing trees.  But we hope in time, as Rory gains strength and his co-ordination improves, he will be able to return to being a normal 7 year old boy.  The surprise for the weekend was definitely the arrival of Sparky.  The boys were lying on the trampoline on Saturday afternoon when they heard meowing and Sam spotty a small tabby kitten.  It is likely only 5 weeks old.  We don't know if it was a wild kitten or someone dumped it.  It took a family effort to catch it.  Considering it has only been here two days it has made itself at home.  I have the unenvious job of mastering toilet training this week while Sean and Rory are away!  I am not a big cat fan but it is obvious how much the boys love having it around.