Rory Gardiner's Webpage

26, Jul, 2009

Sunday 26th July 2009


Havana Ruby Poole was born at 1am this morning on the North Shore.  She is the first born of my high school friend Cindy and her fiancé Neville.  Cindy is the last of the 'girls' to have a baby, bar Auntie Mands, and Havana has kept us all on our toes over the last week as we waited for her arrival (a week late).  We are looking forward to meeting her next week.  I remember when the boys were born like it was yesterday.  I have often wished it was possible to bottle up the feeling of being pregnant, and of holding your newborn baby, so I could take the lid off on occasion and feel it all over again.  Bringing up children to be healthy, happy, and valuable members of society, is very much trial and error.  No one gives you a hand book when a baby arrives.  You have to give, and do, so much more than you ever thought you could.  Some days the hill climb seems almost insurmountable.  But you do, because you have to, and in return you are rewarded with a type of love and joy not available to those who haven't experienced parenthood.  Becoming a mum was a surprise for me, it was not something I had ever desired or planned.  I have never found it easy, but I have always tried to do the best I can for my boys.  I have always been the human equivalent of a lioness, I can't help it.  My good friend Heni is the same.  She enables her children, believes in them unconditionally, and is hands-on in their lives.  But I have discovered there are some things even mothers can't do.  I have to accept Rory has cancer, no matter how much I hate it, and wish it would go away.  Acceptance doesn't mean I will give up fighting for remission, for as long as we can get.  For Rory is a gift in our lives. 

The boys enjoyed cuddles in bed this morning, and I have to confess to being the last up, which is unusual for me.  There was much excitement and activity as we planned to go kayaking up at the lakes.  Whaea Danielle and her partner Wendy lent us their kayaks for the day so we went up to Lake Waikere.  We paddled right around the lake, Sean and Rory in one kayak, Sam and I in the other.  Sam paddled a kayak for the first time, and enjoyed marooning me while he went out on his own.  Rory enjoyed catching fish with his net, and went off with great concentration as we stopped at a sandy beach.  It was a beautiful day on the lake, clear, calm, sunny and vibrant.  We stopped for lunch on a pontoon/jetty, and I collected a plant which was growing underneath for Lisa (Botanist at the Regional Council) to check.  Rory fell asleep at the front of the kayak after lunch, trailing his hands in the water.  It was up to Kaihu for icecreams when we got back to shore

Friday night was supposed to be a quiet one in our house but around 5pm the Newman's (Greg, Tracey, Freya, Nikau and Matai) arrived with a trailer loaded with firewood.  They knew we had burnt through the store we had, and were looking at purchasing more.  Greg approached Greenways Trust and they donated a cubic metre of wood and two bags of kindling, and he topped up the trailer with wood from their stockpile.  Their generosity overwhelmed me.  People are so willing to make our lives a little easier, some days there never seems to be enough to say or do in return.  Tracey also gave me some beautiful bread and dukka to go with our dinner.  Tracey and Greg ended up driving away without the boys as Nikau and Matai stayed the night.  When Sean arrived home there were two extra on board, and it was all on.  It was wonderful to have lots of activity, warmth and laughter. 

On Saturday the four boys were up early to finish the Transformers DVD, and ate a feed of pancakes for breakfast.  We all headed off to soccer, and Nikau, Matai and Sam won their games.  Sam's team won 2-0.  When we got home, Sean split, and Sam and I stacked, all the firewood.  At one stage we thought we had imagined the pile getting smaller!  Rory spent the afternoon making thank-you cards for people who have donated items to us.  It was Katherine's birthday on Saturday, and unfortunately I missed her dress-up party, and night out at the Northern Wairoa Hotel.  I've already heard it was pretty crazy, and I can't wait to catch up with her and Trudi tomorrow.