Disjunction of feeling near the end of treatment

One dose of methotrexate left to complete then Rory will have finished the treatment protocol for osteosarcoma.  People have been commenting we must feel good.  You would expect this to be the case.  The tumor in Rory’s jaw was discovered nine months ago yesterday and next week will mark nine months of treatment.  I think mostly we feel numb, weary and apprehensive.  Always on our minds is the question was it enough?  Recurrent osteosarcoma occurs in 30-50% of patients with initial localised disease.  In most cases it returns within three years after the patient finishes an initial course of treatment.  It most often reoccurs in the bone or lungs.  For years after Rory completed treatment for brain cancer we lived from scan to scan just waiting for the devastating news medulloblastoma had returned.  We will be living the same way post-osteosarcoma.  I hope in a week, when treatment is over, the pressure will ease and allow the joy we feel to bubble to the surface. 

Rory has had his 3-monthly testosterone injection.  He is in almost complete hormonal failure due to treatment for brain cancer.  The injection replaces what he would have had naturally and will help strengthen his recovery.  Penny the District Health Nurse visited and removed the stitch from the biopsy, she also checked the wound on Rory’s toe.  Rory had a short visit to Te Awhinatia, the learning centre at Inglewood High School this morning.  He enjoys the company but finds it difficult to concentrate.  He gets fatigued, both mentally and physically, very quickly.  He needs to take the visits in small bites as he is socially withdrawn, not used to being in the company of so many people.  The house has been quieter with Colt at school and at his first football practice on Monday night. 

Thank you to the Child Cancer Foundation for the grocery delivery.