Learn to turn back

Grandad Gardiner Rory and a cactus July 2022

Make that one idea your dream, let every part of your body be full of it  (Swami Vivekananda)

Every personality test I have taken describes me as determined, a person who wants to do something very much and won’t let anyone or anything get in the way.  It is a trait which has helped my family and I though some tough times.  The downfall is I sometimes push too hard and struggle to accept when things are out of my reach.  However, giving up can sometimes be a healthier alternative.  I have had to learn to turn back.     

This afternoon Sean and Rory took puppy Leo back to his breeder.  We have tried hard over the last six weeks to integrate Leo into our family but we have made only a small amount of progress for a huge effort.  Leo is a lovely puppy but he remains timid.  He won’t come (often running away), is uncomfortable when we touch him and he cries continuously when left alone.  Sean and I were getting up to him regularly at night and reducing our time away from home to keep him company.  We have spent a lot of time trying to win him over and boost his confidence plus clean up his mess.  We are tiring.  The only time Leo seemed happy was when he was outside with our old dog Fern.  He definitely wasn’t the inside affectionate companion for Rory we hoped he would be.  We know it is early days but Sean and I have both owned dogs and didn’t think in the long run it was going to work out for Leo, for Rory or for us.  So with sadness in our hearts we returned him this afternoon.  We are fortunate the breeder guarantees her puppies and so welcomed him back. 

It has been a mixed up week.  Rory spent last Sunday with Jo so Sean, Colt and I could escape to south Taranaki for a walk from Waiinu beach to Ototoka.  The weather was atrocious; freezing cold, strong wind and showers.  Thankfully a high tide combined with an extended cliff line forced us to turn back but it is a fascinating part of the coast with 1-2 million year old fossils.

Rory was glad to see Caleb again after a two week absence.  It is WITT school holidays so Rory and Tash have been trying to amuse themselves with fill-in activities; movies, exploring other small Taranaki towns and building a new Marvel lego set.  We had a visit from Leanne the ACC Occupational Therapist.  She checked the power lift chair which had arrived for Rory for the lounge and discussed the temporary bathroom modifications required to prevent further falls.    

On Thursday Sean, Rory and Colt made the trip to Dannevirke to catch up with Grannie and Grandad Gardiner.  Sean and Rory spent Friday out in the field with Grandad chasing feral goats and deer.  Unfortunately the trip was cut short as Grannie and Grandad felt unwell and we couldn’t risk Rory catching whatever they may have so the boys made a rapid retreat home yesterday.  During their two days away I managed to cram in some Leigh time.  I had curry for dinner with Caitlyn (Sam was away on a course), admired the creations at the Fibre Ed 2022 exhibition and attended Matilda the Musical at the TSB Theatre with Nana Honnor.  I had a morning run, went op shopping, bought sweet treats from my favourite keto bakery and had a facial at Zen Skin Spa.  It made me realise how rarely I do the things I enjoy ‘alone’ i.e. away from all the boys.  It was a strange but nice sensation.