The mental battle to keep going

Rory and I are sitting in our usual spot in Starship ward 27A (Oncology Clinic), at the window overlooking Rangitoto Island and Auckland City.  The sun is streaming in, Rory has IV fluids running and he is very unhappy.  He refuses to do anything but stare into space, crying intermittently.  He says he wants to stop treatment.  Dr Kath is coming to see him this afternoon.  Yesterday morning we had a few issues getting a blood sample at Taranaki Base Hospital.  It took three attempts at port access and one from a peripheral vein.  It was unpleasant.  When we received the results we were surprised to see his platelets had increased to 66 and his haemoglobin was up a little to 79.  This was good enough for us to get in the car and drive to Auckland.  Rory was shocked and unhappy about the results.  I think he had expected and hoped for a delay.  We have returned to the Waldorf St Martins, staying on the 11th floor.  Rory and I came to Clinic at 8am this morning.  We have seen Dr Stephen to organise the current dose of methotrexate and plan for the next one.  Rory will stop taking the antibiotic (co-trimoxazole) in the weekends.  He will instead receive an iv antibiotic which will last 4-5 weeks and protect him against PCP (pneumocystis pneumonia). 

Thank you to the Child Cancer Foundation for the grocery delivery.